Episode Archive
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- Zipper merging
- Justice on the highway
- Don't go up against James in a merge
- "Geometry is my god and I will go where it tells me to go."
- Chevy Van rust-brow
- Kids throwing rocks at Christopher's rear window
- "I wouldn't say, 'harassing'"
- Christopher scares the kids while in his boxers
- "Imagine I'm a hoodlum"
- No doughnuts on James's street
- The one time Christopher calls the police - when his mother-in-law visits
- PSA - When the guns come out, walk the other way
- Gang bangers invade Christopher's neighborhood and the Cops don't really care
- Christopher again accuses James of looking like Henry Winkler and James throws him out (pic)
- His head is about 30% too big
- The Fonz is the cool guy? Really?
- Are Italians "small" and is Henry Winkler Italian? (No)
- Is Marlon Brando Italian? (No)
- James questions Dustin Hoffman's casting in The Graduate
- An actor is a "make-believer"
- Christopher thinks James looks like James Dean. At least that's how James heard it. (pic)
- Alabama, you have too many 'A's in your name
- Alabama's big red X. Not very subtle and not a good look.
- Christopher and James argue if freedom of religion is freedom from religion
- Four. Pointy. White. Hats.
- "A very 'sewable' flag"
- Alaska, your flag rocks (but the stars could be bigger).
- Benny Benson, an orphan living in an orphanage designed the Alaskan flag. I mean, seriously! Alaska, you win.
- "Math is for other people"
- Vexillology. What? Vexillology. Huh? Vexillology. Say what? Vexillology.
- Everything Christopher learned, he learned from "A Charlie Brown Christmas"
- "Don't be subtle with me, I don't understand subtlety"
- The cleaning crew threw out the "artwork"
- James loves the '80s, Christopher - not so much
- "A no-watch movie strike."
- Metallica - a small disagreement
- Welcome to our 10th episode extravaganza!
- "Once upon a time, I used to go the gym"
- "You're not only wrong, you're weird"
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Alabama State Flag
Alaska State Flag
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- "Christopher, is your shotgun loaded at this point?"
- Christopher is pissed at himself for not being as pissed as he thinks he should be
- "At this point you are stark raving mad, but you don't want anyone to know that."
- Christopher didn't sleep well because his little girl is growing up
- James dreams about Christopher
- "You like big women?" "Well... no?"
- I don't like to use the word dumb, but... yes, they were dumb
- James is into nerdy girls
- Christopher only likes the smart playboy models
- James doesn't like Christopher's Intro/Outro
- Christopher: "It's called dissonance." James: "That doesn't make it any better."
- "Slap me after, not before"
- Christopher cracks himself up
- Christopher tries to explain music to James, but he just doesn't care
- It's a hit with the youth
- James doesn't mind getting songs stuck in his head, that's free radio!
- James is an idiot savant without the savant
- James admits to listening to Billy Squier and Christopher realizes he doesn't like James any more
- Christopher laments James's terrible ear
- Your State Flag sucks
- Iceland, Greenland, and Arizona
- Does the blue represent blue?
- Christopher knows more about your flag than you do
- Christopher read the whole encyclopedia, James just looked at the pictures
- We explain to the kids what an encyclopedia is and its implications on social status
- Macmillan Visual Dictionary (pic)
- Encyclopedias had no auto update. You lived with what you had.
- James's father speaks Ancient Greek. Not sure why, but there it is.
- Christopher is spacey
- Astronomers on TikTok
- Ship High In Transit is bullshit - @jesszafarris
- Shit means shit
- Beowulf was not written by Shakespeare, but James is too dumb to know that
- From Beowulf to The Office
- James takes a hatchet to The Office (American version)
- You can still steal cars in Rhode Island
- Cars without USB ports aren't really cars
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- Bikini Beans - NO Sponge Bob here
- "The Sweep" or, "Christopher's human evaluation system"
- Nickle and diming a 10 year old is a bad look
- "The fuzzy one?"
- "Toys for children, made by children"
- James: "I am much less attractive, why are you looking at me?"
- Maintaining eye contact and ogling at the same time
- Shoe compliments work better on women than on men
- "I'm wearing Birkenstocks."
- Christopher bought his first new "car" when he was 11 years old and it was a motorcycle (Kawasaki KX80).
- Lying to the PennySaver
- Christopher's Honda MR50 that his Dad gave him
- Quirky things from the 70s and 80s - Motocompo - Honda's little motorcycle that fit in their little car
- Christopher's first "car" - Ford F150
- Christopher has destroyed a lot of beautiful cars (1967 powder yellow Mustang Coupe)
- James's woeful tale of the stolen car
- How to destroy a car in three easy steps
- Oh sure, they 'bought' the stereo
- Our Weekly Public Service Announcement: Cars over 10 (now 20) years old are fair game in Rhode Island
- A gate won't stop James, he's free range
- Christopher: "There aren't that many blonde male leads." James: "I guess I'm just not interested in this topic."
- From thrasher to business man to guru all to get chicks
- Hippies ended up on Wall Street
- We all need you Christopher
- Totally façade
- Saying something nice about Trump is hard, but James is trying
- Trump's political success is based on his next level understanding of American TV news media
- The rural vs urban divide is a divide of language
- A true tale of racism which turns out to be completely incomprehensible because racism is, essentially, incomprehensible.
- A suntan is the racial dividing line
- People like Socialism because they haven't been to a Socialist country
- Americans are not all the same
- Parisians are jerks, but the French are OK
- From Trump to Hobbits
- Christopher wants to be a Hobbit (or at least eat like one)
- Giant Snicker bars are not a meal Christopher!
- James hates candy
- When does candy stop and chocolate begin?
- James simply does not understand cotton candy, marshmallows, or candy
- "There are a lot of different hamburgers out there."
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1967 powder yellow Mustang Coupe (that Christopher destroyed)image source
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- Christopher breaks the toilet at the Children's Museum
- Not urinating on the seat is like, "base level human stuff"
- The idea of a tweed suit breaks James
- Step aside Don Johnson, here comes Christopher (pic)
- Pleated? Of course!
- Zoot suit!
- The suit archive
- Christopher's kids don't want to wear his old suits... usually.
- Old Whiskey bottles and dungarees are worth $
- The whiskey smashing cat (RIP) that destroyed Christopher's inheritance
- Old Jack Daniels bottles (pic)
- James has Lego hanging from his walls (pic)
- Lego inheritance
- Luke Skywalker murdered the "nondenominational" Lego
- Lego Castle & Space Series from the 1980s (pic)
- Lego X-Wings through the years (but the first was the best) (pic)
- Skinny Sicilians
- James does NOT look like Henry Winkler
- Sexual harassment, or, please more
- The neurologist trigger James by under weighing him
- The Carter Hotel NYC
- Christopher gets "Christ" ribs after not eating for three months
- Hobbit meal plan
- Eating dandelions
- "That's not a cookie"
- I'm not a weight lifter or a woman
- Capellini
- Art school is awesome (except the food is terrible)
- "That Girl" TV show
- Is Phil Donahue a jerk?
- TV personalities and Presidential candidates are possibly not the most stable people
- Hillary Clinton was the best Republican candidate in years
- Putin - riding bears with his shirt off (pic)
- Christopher fantasies about riding a polar bear with the Rumple Minze half naked "warrior" princess
- If you can see the belly button, it's NOT ARMOR!
- "As a former Dungeons & Dragons enthusiast..."
- "This thing called LARPing"
- Beating the crap out of people with... padded foam weapons
- That is cool, I would do that. NERF? Oh, wait, no that's silly
- SCA
- Is golf Scottish?
- Who has time to golf? Steve Jobs
- "These are bad-ass swords"
- Christopher has an auction problem
- Christopher wants to live in a castle
- trompe l'oeil - "A style of painting that is intended to give a convincing illusion of reality"
- "Don't spell at me"
- We haven't started yet
- The toilet seat is still broken, but it looks fixed
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Putin riding a bear. Sure.
Rumple Minze "Warrior" Princess
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- Christopher is upset that James didn't notice his new sunglasses or fancy shirt
- This IS a podcast
- Doing "Follow Up" makes us sound smart
- Veterans Day
- Christopher's grandfather at the Phoenix VA Hospital
- James loves bad dreams because they are "so weird" and James is, well, pretty weird
- Don't use analogies with James, he just hears the analogy
- "I meant a Bud Light" (follow up)
- 1993 WTC bombings - 6 fatalities and over a thousand injuries (follow up)
- Christopher wants to "Carfax" the WTC
- James didn't take Physics but he is really good at it anyway
- Christopher thinks James is an inventor, but James just makes junk to make his coffee less splashy
- Christopher worries that keeping chickens makes him sound like a farm boy, but this is Phoenix damn it and that's how we roll
- Foot mouse? What the hell is a foot mouse?
- Mechanical mouse balls are, balls
- Christopher, don't sniff that! Seriously, what is wrong with you?!
- Grinder sniffs the microphone
- You can't make me smell that Christopher!
- James resolves to NEVER buy a used microphone
- For the love of god, DON'T SMELL THE BALL!
- Taking offense is optional
- Victim currency
- Don Rickles
- Comedy is complicated, so give them a break
- Kramer got canceled
- Comedians in Cars getting Coffee Obama episode
- Christopher just can't stop talking about his gross mouse
- James gets violent
- The mouse's stinky wheels
- Christopher, did you taste the ball? ....
- Mennonites have dirty wheels too
- The foot mouse is OVER! OVER!
- Contractors are noisy, but if James had a gun...
- Christopher will smell anything. Except marijuana.
- Marijuana sneaks out the window
- Christopher, take your super taster nose and just go home.
- Catalina island has a marijuana hour
- "Blunt"
- James threatens to 'marijuana up' Christopher's car
- "Roach"
- America is getting less interesting
- Even the homeless don't want to talk to Christopher
- "John does flips on the beach"
- Art school is getting boring too
- Chaos is necessary to generate ideas and without ideas culture and civilisations die
- A little human contact goes a long way
- Zeus's birthplace is unimpressive. Or maybe Christopher went to the wrong place.
- Christopher starts talking to goats... and they start talking back.
- Astronauts and goats
- The posh homeless
- Catholic begger in NYC
- Christopher prefers the front end of the goat
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- Before we even start, Marijuana
- We actually vote, like for real
- McCain and Romney just needed better websites
- Christopher likes long, boring reads
- Marijuana
- Shuttle Challenger disaster and a not very sensitive Bud Light joke reference
- Comedy, especially jokes about people blowing up is... complicated
- 1993 World Trade Center bombing
- Christopher's Mama is so... OK, maybe not
- Couples that vote together stay together
- Marijuana
- Venice Beach will get you stoned
- James's brother's room smelled like... Marijuana
- Christopher doesn't know what happened to his parent's bong
- National Geographic has boobies
- Marijuana
- If you produce DVD technology, you're really in the porn business but don't tell Disney
- Hollywood is sleazy and filled with hypocrites and nepotism
- Charity giving is really just marekting
- Opioid charity give-backs
- Marijuana
- Christopher hates Marijuana because it's stinky and the billboards are gross and that's why it shouldn't be legalized
- Marijuana is legal now which is fine, but the actual law is stupid
- Marijuana
- Marijuana
- Marijuana
- The Salton Sea is a mess that will only get worse and kill everyone in California (Follow up)
- Christopher doesn't like that a bunch of Californians are moving to Arizona and bringing the silly ideas and stinky Marijuana
- James Brown, not Chuck Barry was on Miami Vice (Follow up)
- While Christopher sings and dances, James sits quietly in the corner waiting for it to end
- Risky Business
- Fake IDs
- Christopher's friendly happy time feel good cover band
- The election that won't end
- YouTube ruins James's night with election news so he gives up and just watches nothing but Lindsey Stirling videos
- Key & Peele
- "This funny thing where we have to breath"
- "Can we go to Michael Jackson?" "Ugh, if we must."
- Christopher learns broadcast news sucks
- The "EyeWitness News" format ruined news, the country, and probably the world
- Safety inversion
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- Christopher travels to Chicago just to go to a bar - Go Tavern
- Dive hole? Dive bar? Dive bar.
- Macallan Whiskey
- Whiskey in the lemonaide, tea, and honey... no?
- Arizona cheese crisp
- Mexican food in Denmark is... not so good.
- Mexican restaurant in Maine
- James's girlfriend's dad had a Mexican restaurant
- James is (was) bad at dating
- Christopher's wife is still alive
- Experian got hacked and they have a terrible website
- Christopher discovers a weird hiring con job, but decides it's too much trouble to do anything about it
- Chicago is fun, bars are fun...
- THE COPS! (sirens)
- Snow is awesome
- Snow sucks
- The winter wonderland stops being wonderful when you have to buy a fucking shovel
- The Salton Sea
- Jerry Brown's hilarious response to Meg Whitman's attack ad
- Quibi is dead and Meg Whitman killed it
- Tik Tok
- Give it all away for free!
- Old people don't know movies
- Horror movies aren't scary anymore, or maybe we've just seen it all before
- 1/2 bottle wine, a couple of glasses of whiskey (2-3 ounces), few "Coke & rums", and then some more whiskey...
- Siri gets smarmy
- Drunk and awake is apparently better than drunk and asleep
- We don't get drunk until AFTER the kids go to bed
- Christopher has Irish coffee in the morning because he was too tired to finish his drink the night before
- James is too much of a cheapskate to be an alcoholic
- You are too drunk to taste your wine
- Christopher is a super taster
- "Almost right nearly every single time"
- Christopher refuses to go on record as to whether or not he has drunk battery acid
- It's not a lie, it's a "creative explanation"
- Black helicopters flying around in Christopher's backyard
- Christopher has a nose for ozone
- Stargate
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- 1, 2, 3, 4, now I can... are you serious right now?
- Christopher's "little drawings"
- UHV
- Ultra Man
- Dumb TV shows vs BAD dumb TV shows
- James is in love with Lynda Carter, the original Wonder Woman
- Tom Baker the 4th Doctor Who
- Batman (Adam West)
- Getting up early to avoid your family and your co-workers
- Nurses are under appreciated
- Christopher drops his doughnut and a nurse helps him
- Bike seats are weird
- Fat people can be fast too
- Chris Froome
- Christopher is a casual cyclist
- James, no one cares how much your bike weighs (18.5 lbs)
- Christopher rides down I95 on a bicycle like a crazy person
- Christopher rides his beach cruiser like a golden god and everyone loves him
- James drops the mic at Orange Theory
- Riding (your bike) for Rock & Roll!
- Miami Vice vs Magnum PI (Magnum wins)
- Miami Vice, "Missing Hours" with James Brown (NOT Chuck Barry)
- Re-runs are the gold standard
- James doesn't know anything about music
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- Crashed the new "low end" Cadillac
- James's extra small Prius (with bike rack)
- Christopher's frat hazed a Yugo
- The Chinese can't say no
- Christopher's no big deal near death experience
- Christopher does not get into Heavan
- Shirley Maclaine's reality
- James is a sucky soccer coach
- New York, like an whole other country
- Texas is kind of weird
- Spanish Kings giving away our land
- The airbag is pink, but my wife doesn't care
- Christopher loves the idea of James getting his ass beat
- COVID driving
- Name the show
- Bill Bryson - "In a Sunburned Country"
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- We can count
- Rock and roll equipment
- Is that safe? Well...no.
- Retro-actively billing for sponsorship
- Christopher and James are not gay
- Christopher loves gay bars
- Annoying yard equipment
- Christopher gets prophetically struck by lightning
- Trump gets COVID
- James tries to be good, but is probably a bad person
- Talking about Covid and climate change as if we are experts (we're not)
- James makes bad coffee
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